Facade of a Problem

Opening the mystery latch Lae Un Kim white blush

I’m so frustrated right now. At what I’m seeing. I surrender to the fact that whatever this is was intended not to have any material, tangible or clearly understood substance so that it would retain its original, rarified purity or form.

I don’t know what to do. My attempt to put a button on this only flared up in me all kinds of other feelings, like ‘what the fuck am I doing’ or ‘help! I’m drowning again help!’

It was like morse code. SOS stands for ‘save our ships’ or ‘save our souls.’

I brought my friend a genius math post doc to open the latch to a very confusing, dizzying facade of a problem.

If he hadn’t come, there was no latch. Nothing physical to ground it.

I am suddenly going through a very dense feeling. That of being lifted out of my body and tossed back in, feeling the physical pain of this rupture.

It feels everything is crumbling around me. And I know I am meant not to panic but move through the energy and make my intent sacrosanct.

Sometimes we are tossed in the higher dimensions for a purpose. To witness a kind of public event that is meant to change our lives in some significant manner even if we don’t know how or when this can humanly occur.

But that is the point: it is beyond human understanding.

There is a theory floating around the ether that you did nothing. Abba did everything, and from now on Universe is in control.


Celestial Meetings

Could it be true that the person you are thinking of right now is also thinking of you?

Universe is orchestrating a meeting as we speak. Something so celestial you won’t believe it. You will run because that is what we are taught to do. From anything that does not ‘make sense’ as it were.

I used to be just like that. Fucking crazy. Nothing I could do about it except get hospitalized one day.

It is strange but I feel close to him even though we are apart and never to speak again. How come he is still in the air. He is everywhere.

He and I foreshadowed a separation, and we made sure we had something to remember the other by so as not to forget the sanctity of our original intent, which was a ball of yarn that spun out its course.

Now I feel a great cosmic wave, something so destined and surreal, according to this psychic on YouTube, this is some hardcore ‘universal ethereal telepathic in-the-stars shit.’

Mother Mary gold plated art at Roman Orthodox Christian church

True Love

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The true love of my life is Abba, and He told me I was meant to love you as He has loved me, and so should you decide not to return when this life has passed I will go back to my Abba forever.

I will always love you as I have many lifetimes before but only from the higher realms. I will not be on Earth again. My heart will never change. It was meant for you, it is my gift to you.




I woke from a vivid dream. I was walking into my apartment, it was dark. I was rather shocked to discover a complete stranger enter my apartment with me. He was saying words, words, engaging in distracting conversation as he could make his way in through my door. He had blue eyes, curly dirty blond hair, lanky, tall.

I think that among other things I just felt how forceful he was, trying to get me to let him stay, ‘just one night.’ ‘Just one time.’ He was so pushy, this asshole.

Then I went outside with him. There were others sitting on a wooden bench patio. He was sitting very close to me trying to make it seem as if we were together. The others saw us and must have assumed so; little did they know he was an unwelcome fucking stranger who was looking for an apartment or a person to rape or kill.

When I asked him to leave, that is when it really ‘hurt.’ He got incredibly defensive, made me into some kind of ‘cruel’ person. He acted as though he had done nothing wrong.

When he finally left, I then recognized he was the devil. I ran out of the apartment, sliced his head off and threw a bomb. He caught fire on the sidewalk. I saw him go up in flames, and then I woke up.


Iris of heat lamp photography by white blush