Loss of self


If you don’t know you have this ego identity when you experience your dreams or soul truth coming up it will feel extremely painful like you are losing yourself and you will mistake that pain as coming from this person or that dream rather than the pain of you running from yourself. In other words that pain is love.

True Love

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The true love of my life is Abba, and He told me I was meant to love you as He has loved me, and so should you decide not to return when this life has passed I will go back to my Abba forever.

I will always love you as I have many lifetimes before but only from the higher realms. I will not be on Earth again. My heart will never change. It was meant for you, it is my gift to you.




I woke from a vivid dream. I was walking into my apartment, it was dark. I was rather shocked to discover a complete stranger enter my apartment with me. He was saying words, words, engaging in distracting conversation as he could make his way in through my door. He had blue eyes, curly dirty blond hair, lanky, tall.

I think that among other things I just felt how forceful he was, trying to get me to let him stay, ‘just one night.’ ‘Just one time.’ He was so pushy, this asshole.

Then I went outside with him. There were others sitting on a wooden bench patio. He was sitting very close to me trying to make it seem as if we were together. The others saw us and must have assumed so; little did they know he was an unwelcome fucking stranger who was looking for an apartment or a person to rape or kill.

When I asked him to leave, that is when it really ‘hurt.’ He got incredibly defensive, made me into some kind of ‘cruel’ person. He acted as though he had done nothing wrong.

When he finally left, I then recognized he was the devil. I ran out of the apartment, sliced his head off and threw a bomb. He caught fire on the sidewalk. I saw him go up in flames, and then I woke up.


Iris of heat lamp photography by white blush