Vow

I think marriage is a vow to silently kill eachother. These are my parents who had different styles of survival my father was very physical, abrasive and verbally abusive while my mother more subtle and covert ie. she could easily starve you if you pissed her off. My dad’s weakness is he could not cook because being served was a personal pleasure.

Loss of self

Church

If you don’t know you have this ego identity when you experience your dreams or soul truth coming up it will feel extremely painful like you are losing yourself and you will mistake that pain as coming from this person or that dream rather than the pain of you running from yourself. In other words that pain is love.

Barren land

Deergrove Forest Preserve Palatine Illinois

Barren land or fertile soil. I had so many cuts I start to feel an ache all over. I feel unsure of myself like maybe I ‘went too far l’ into dreams that appear very irrational.

But I think dreams are from your higher self messages from the soul, infinite past present future lives, they are to protect you from danger coming up ahead. Some of us are literally buried alive and do not even know.