Cut motel scene from “Loves Park”

Below are stills from a scene that did not make the final version of “Loves Park.” It was a disturbing and violent scene that felt eerily cut from a different film. It was a flashback scene of Edie with her Aunt Sue, reflecting a fraught relationship that affected Edie as an adult and made her question her capacity to care for others.

Actor Alexis Evelyn in motel scene from 'Loves Park' movie prologue

I remember a few weeks before shooting I was on an airplane back to Chicago when I called my producer and freaked out about the fact that we don’t know why our lead character Edie doesn’t want children, why she feels so detached from her husband and her life in general.

And so I wrote this scene to explain it in some way, but it was too late. The film had been written and partially realized in pre-production without my needing to know why my main character felt the way she felt.

Motel scene 15

This would seem to be such a basic flaw in the writing of the film and would never be made through traditional means, but was in fact what made it most mesmerizing for me all these years.

Motel scene 11

It may just be the future presenting itself in a way that your present self can’t quite understand, so that when this future becomes present, it is able to be received properly and not so easily dismissed by an inflexible mind. The film opened me up to the spiritual nature of art, the mystifying part of it which draws the soul out of its hardened shell, so that information and light could be retrieved, and new selves could be formed.

Motel scene 14

What day is it today and who cares

Listening to Harold Budd in my room is otherworldly and special. I never left this room. I will never leave this room.

It is the hour of the day in which it is so bright out that I ask myself ‘what do people do these days?’ and two hours later, ask the same question with genuine and renewed interest. 

I feel a bit thirsty, is it already time for drinking and asking how other people’s days went? I have nothing to report, except for this–

this video that I shared on Facebook. At first I did not understand but after repeated viewings I started convulsing from body spasms and laughter. I put it on private so I could entertain myself on Facebook for a very long time, but shortly after deleted it because I felt bad for Living my god damn life THRIVING THROUGH REAL EMOTION.’

Screen Shot 2017-04-24 at 12.51.23 PM

At the same time I thought of a list of FB friends I could share this with who would immediately find it funny without my having to explain it too much, but after a few minutes I gave up.

One more, last one.

Also can you just listen to this song called “Love Trap” by Soko? I really want to tell ‘Ariel stop it.’  ‘I want to be a mermaid. I want to be a mermaid.’

Poster design for ‘Loves Park‘ by Anthony Wallace.  I want to cry when I make a new friend in art. <3


Loves Park Movie Trailer No. 1


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