2am Call

I’m like I got to go sleep now Kim. We’re about 90% cast for our feature film shooting first day of photography on my bday (not planned.) ‘What are you doing tomorrow? Let’s chat.’ ‘I’m doing a Ted Talk about directing for your passion- 300 or 400 ppl tomorrow’ lol What?! Ok goodnight.
Meet my genius director Kim Chan Woo. He makes this look easy but making a movie is actually really hard! Here was 2am casting and scheduling.

No pain, none at all.

It was a very tough day. I only cried once. I slept all afternoon and woke up to a phone call. My mom and I went on a 2 hour walk, the only joy I can speak of right now because for a year she could not. She said to me ‘no pain. None at all.’

Barren land

Deergrove Forest Preserve Palatine Illinois

Barren land or fertile soil. I had so many cuts I start to feel an ache all over. I feel unsure of myself like maybe I ‘went too far l’ into dreams that appear very irrational.

But I think dreams are from your higher self messages from the soul, infinite past present future lives, they are to protect you from danger coming up ahead. Some of us are literally buried alive and do not even know.

What day is it today and who cares

Listening to Harold Budd in my room is otherworldly and special. I never left this room. I will never leave this room.

It is the hour of the day in which it is so bright out that I ask myself ‘what do people do these days?’ and two hours later, ask the same question with genuine and renewed interest. 

I feel a bit thirsty, is it already time for drinking and asking how other people’s days went? I have nothing to report, except for this–

this video that I shared on Facebook. At first I did not understand but after repeated viewings I started convulsing from body spasms and laughter. I put it on private so I could entertain myself on Facebook for a very long time, but shortly after deleted it because I felt bad for Living my god damn life THRIVING THROUGH REAL EMOTION.’

Screen Shot 2017-04-24 at 12.51.23 PM

At the same time I thought of a list of FB friends I could share this with who would immediately find it funny without my having to explain it too much, but after a few minutes I gave up.

One more, last one.

Also can you just listen to this song called “Love Trap” by Soko? I really want to tell ‘Ariel stop it.’  ‘I want to be a mermaid. I want to be a mermaid.’

Poster design for ‘Loves Park‘ by Anthony Wallace.  I want to cry when I make a new friend in art. <3